When the Heavens Declare It

I struggle with OCD.

I know some say things like OCD are a "superpower" and maybe there are people who experience it that way.

I am not one of those.

I do not have wash-my-hands-and-compulsively-clean-my-house OCD. My OCD is heavy on the Obsessive. I struggle daily with intrusive thoughts and an all-consuming obsession with whatever project or cause has grabbed me. Instead of making me productive it often causes me to freeze, unable to focus on anything else. Even the simplest tasks like making lunch or driving to the grocery store become entangled in thoughts of that one thing, whatever it may be. I usually end up frantic and trying to force things to come about on my own to fit the picture that these intrusive/obsessive thoughts have produced.

This was much the case last night when a G4 severe solar storm poured out an Aurora Borealis that reached from the North Pole all the way to Louisiana. If I had one bucket list item, one trip I absolutely need to take, one BIG thing I just have to see in my lifetime, it's the Northern Lights. I just can't explain it. Space stuff has always been that thing. If there is a meteor shower you can safely assume that while everyone else is sleeping soundly, I'm freezing in the backyard straining my neck for hours to see just one. The Aurora is no different. It's my white whale.

When reports started coming in that the storm was building in intensity, I became frantic. My brain wasn't going to let me miss it. I had to find a place wide enough and dark enough to see it in all its majesty. We live in a densely populated area near a major city, and I just knew that we wouldn't be able to see it from here. For years, I've been planning (daydreaming) trips up north to Maine or Michigan to see them, but we had the chance that night to see them without having to even travel! But the spot had to be just right. There are things to consider, like rapidly changing bz rates, which measure north-south interplanetary magnetic field, and an unstable KP index that can indicate a rising or falling level of geomagnetic activity on Earth. (I didn't make that up, despite it sounding very made up)

Then it seemed like no one else was getting ready fast enough, no one else was showing enthusiasm...I was getting irritated. My brain wasn't letting me see reason. Finally, after seeing posts from our area on Facebook I told everyone, "let's just walk outside."

I saw it the moment I opened the door.

Even with the street lights.

Even with the houses.

I saw it from my own porch. The kids gasped when they saw sky-painted vibrant pinks and purples. For a moment everything stopped. There was just this awe-filled wonder that paused every anxious, intrusive, and obsessive thought. God did that without me planning. In fact, He very much did it despite the planning I was doing. Had we gotten in the car sooner we might have missed it altogether while trying to find the perfect place to view them from. That's the funny thing about God. There are many times when He gives us what we want, only better. We could have left the house earlier that night. We could have driven out to the parkway with all the other Aurora hunters in our state. The pictures could have been bigger and more dramatic.

But in that moment He spoke calm directly into our home, into our lives. The same God who created a universe so vast and beautiful is the same God who breathes into our very souls to give us the peace we need. How wonderful is it when we get to experience that in our home surrounded by loved ones?