Love Notes: How a Note a Day can Minister to a Child's Heart

A few years ago, I was struck by the realization that while I strive to love my kids with every ounce of my being, I might have been putting more effort into showing kindness to others outside of our home. Sending encouragement through the mail, dropping off a care package for a friend having a difficult week, or just baking treats to share with others when I would go out.

Around this time, I started asking myself, what if I made more intentional efforts to minister to my children's hearts, the way I would to someone outside of our household? It seems like a simple concept, but one that's so easily overlooked. We often take a different approach to parent-child relationships because of the authority aspect that is intertwined between us. But the reality is our kids can feel the difference between nurturing that comes from a place of routine and roles versus a ministry of love that comes from an overflow of God's presence in our lives. Both have their place and necessity, but I easily lost sight of one along the way.

Because of this, I decided to start randomly writing letters for our kids to surprise them with words of encouragement. When I started doing it, there were questions and looks of confusion. But, as Justin Earley said in his book Habits of the Household, eventually, something we did became something we do. Our kids love getting notes from us that appear for no reason other than the fact that we want to take the time to remind them that they are beautifully and wonderfully made.

Each day from February 1st until St. Valentine's Day, we make it a tradition to leave them a note every day with one thing we love about them and who they are, or a favorite memory we share with them. It's become so ingrained that Lucy and Tag will remind us if we haven't set out their special notes by the time evening rolls around. Sometimes, the notes come in the morning by their breakfast plates; sometimes, they make their way to their pillow before bed. But they have come to treasure them, and it's one of my favorite traditions we've ever started in our family. Every day we share together is a day we get to reflect the love of God to our children in a way that fills their cup. Sally Clarkson summed this up perfectly in The Lifegiving Home Experience as we seek to impart God's attributes of love and kindness to our children:

"God wants to be as close to us as Jesus was to His disciples and to inspire that same kindness and goodness in our hearts. If we as parents can learn to embrace our relationship with God, we will be empowered to create for our children and anyone else who crosses our doorsteps a true culture of love--a home environment where the life of God is breathed through all moments and love becomes the fuel for living with hope, purpose, and expectation."

I want to challenge you all to take the month of February and set aside time from now until Valentine's Day to minister to your children's hearts. If you have children of any age still at home, leave them a short handwritten note each day with just a quick reminder of something you love about them. It can be as simple as one sentence on a post-it note. I promise that even the most guarded teenager will feel a deep-seated warmth knowing you took the time to acknowledge something in them. And they will always have that in your own handwriting.

If you have older children who are out of the house already, take the opportunity to text them these things once a day through Valentine's Day. My husband and I frequently talk about how the older we get, the more complicated life becomes. The trials become harder, and the pain cuts deeper. Your role as supportive, loving parents carries even more weight as children face a reality that is different than what God originally created us all for. Don't underestimate how much your encouragement can do at this stage of life.

As the world gets ready to celebrate St. Valentine's legacy of love, we can move into the next week intentionally--with the goal of breathing that Love of God into our children's hearts through a simple note.